I have mentioned that I’m bad at technology, but for some reason I have been particularly and painfully bad with technology when it comes to Him #1.    For some reason, all of my faux pas with technology have happened with him recently… just adding to the fun.  Anyways, here is the exhaustive and chronological list:

Not realizing that I purchased the wrong upgrade on the dating app and visiting his profile thinking that he couldn’t see it when he really could.  Background: A lot of the dating apps are free, but you can pay for upgrades.  The one I prefer will notify someone if you looked at their profile and vice-versa.  You can turn it off, but then you don’t see who visits you.  Alternatively, you can upgrade your account and then you can control when you want to notify someone who you visited.

I vaguely remember purchasing the upgrade, but I didn’t really look at what it did.  You see, we had to reschedule the second date and I was drinking at a friend’s house.  I wanted to look at his profile, but I knew that was not really appropriate.  So perfect! I got this upgrade and now I can look without him knowing!  Took me two weeks to realize he could see me visiting his page.

Sending him the screenshot of the break-it-off text.  I took a screenshot of the break-it-off text to send another friend instead of explaining how it ended.  In my haste, I… sent it to him.  It was one of those moments, like forgetting an attachment on an email, where you realize your mistake immediately after you hit send.  Watching the little send bar move across the screen was torture.

I started scheming elaborate cover stories… my phone must have sent it itself… oh strange, how did that happen?  Ultimately, I just didn’t acknowledge that it happened.

Looking at his profile again without the proper settings so he could see the visit.

Accidentally liking a picture of the girl he was talking to on Twitter.  UGH.  I didn’t even want to admit this one.  I looked at her Twitter after he was sending stuff about her.  I just was trying to back out of the page, but pressed the wrong damn thing.  Next thing you know, I have liked one of her tweets.  I immediately unliked it, but I don’t know if that was enough to purge the “like” from the internet… Ultimately, I don’t think it was.

Accidentally revealing my visit yesterday after sending him that novel.  So I finally figured out the correct upgrade and have been using it successfully (I think).  After yesterday’s book of a message, I realized that I had blocked him at some point and that maybe I could send a message, but he couldn’t send a reply so I went on his profile with that mission and only that mission.  Only my iPhone got hung up on his page and my incessant pressing led me to…. reveal my visit.

Wow.  Now that I wrote that all out, I’m a bit concerned about myself… Also… why would he want to get back in touch with this person??

Anyways, whenever I realize I have made one of these mistakes, I have to call my friend, Dawn (though she doesn’t know about all of them, I realize now).  Since the last one was last night, I call Dawn to explain:

Dawn:  I mean, how come this always happens with this one guy?  It would be bad enough for it to just happen, but always with the same person!

Me: I know!  I look like a crazy stalker!

Dawn:  Well…..

Me:  I know that is exactly how I’m acting, but I’m trying to be stealth about it!

Dawn:  Oh, I know.  I do it all the time and we all do.   The anonymity is key, though.

So does everyone do this (i.e. do even well adjusted people do these things)?  [PLEASE TELL ME YOU DO THIS!!]

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