Category Archives: Man TBD

E-mergency! HALP! (Updated)

Advise me! HALP!, All Women Are Crazy, Man TBD, Online Dating, This is 30, Times when I'm awkward

UPDATE:  I decided to ignore the request on Facebook and tell him why.  I said I didn’t want to accept the request because I tend to post a lot, and while nothing is secret per se, I’d rather get to know him organically.  I also said I hope I’m not offending him or hurting his feelings.  He said he hesitated sending it because he agrees it’s too soon, but because he mentioned that he saw me on Facebook, he thought I’d be offended that he didn’t friend me.

See what happens when you assume things?  You make an *ss out of you and ….I don’t remember the rest of the saying.  Mature and honest communication works…. Who knew?

I mentioned earlier this week that there are two gents currently on the dance card.   There is one that I’m leaning towards, but I’ve only had one date with the other one, who I have lovingly dubbed the Nerd.   The first date with the Nerd will likely be chronicled in another post, but needless to say, it was a bit… draining due to the extremely long and rambling stories accompanied by pictures.

That said… He seems like a really nice guy and I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he was just nervous and can’t handle beer.  He admitted that he tends to talk too much.  So I want to give him another chance, but I don’t have super high hopes.

Anyways, here is the E-mergency.  It started with the following text from the Nerd:

Hey Facebook asked me today if I know you 🙂 I hadn’t even searched for you yet, now I know your last name 😉

Ugh.  FACEBOOK YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!  I tried to tiptoe around the topic.

Continue reading E-mergency! HALP! (Updated) →

A Licensed Medical Provider Weighs In

All Women Are Crazy, Man TBD, Overshare?, This is 30

It may come as a complete and utter surprise since I seem so put together and rational that I regularly attend therapy, but I do.  I go as part of treatment for chronic depression, but it’s helpful even when I’m feeling fine.

Anyways, I mentioned to her that I still miss Him #1.  She made the observation that I don’t miss Him #1 per se, but rather, I miss the feelings that he caused–like he opened the flood gates of excitement and attraction and I’m sad the well dried up.  (I don’t think I got that metaphor quite right, so sue me.)  She noted that those feelings will happen again and it just takes time.  You know what?  She’s right.  I mean I knew she was right, but it helps to have words for semi-conscious thoughts.  Is this what it truly means when “it’s not you, it’s me”?

As a side note, I’m fairly open about my mental health issues because I’m not ashamed that I suffer from a very real medical condition.   Here is my favorite TedTalk on the subject:

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back.

All Women Are Crazy, Man TBD, Online Dating, Overshare?, Times when I'm awkward

UPDATE:  I found a video on Buzzfeed that perfectly demonstrates how I feel about this situation.

 

 

So as I move forward in the search for Man TBD, I’ve taken a detour and I’ve gone on some decent first dates.  Two of the gentlemen won’t be on the dance card anymore–one with a text break-it-off (I was recipient, but feeling was mutual so it was perfect!) and one with a technical ghosting from the guy (though I saw it coming and wasn’t invested so I don’t quite care).  None of the dates have resulted in particularly interesting blog stories and the two that have remained on the roster are quite frankly so nice I can’t imagine I’d have the heart to put them on here.  I guess unless one becomes the next former Man TBD and I’m wallowing.

Continue reading Two Steps Forward, One Step Back. →

Searching for Man TBD: Part One

All Women Are Crazy, Man TBD, Online Dating, TL;DR

We all have different goals in life.  Many of us have several and several of mine come to mind: I would like to find a way to have a career that I love that allows a bit more balance in life, I’d like to re-learn how to play the piano, and I’d like to find “Man TBD.”  Man TBD is your vacation buddy, the guy that is your plus-one, the guy you snuggle with when you’re cold, the guy that has his own life and goals and wants you as a true partner, the guy that reminds you that even though the partner yelled at you unfairly, he’s an ass and you’re a good attorney!  I could go on, but I’m beginning to swoon and I digress.

Every once in a blue moon, I get butterflies in my stomach that I might have found Man TBD!  This happened to me recently and it took me by surprise to be honest.  I fell fast and hard for this funny, warm, somewhat shy, and attractive man who messaged me online.   He seemed so into me and I reciprocated.  I was legitimately excited to get his texts.  My friends knew he was texting me because I got this big grin on my face.  It had actually been a long time since I had taken dating seriously and I even longer since I’d been excited.  [More on reasons why in future posts, I’m sure.]  For the purposes of this blog, let’s call him: Him #1.

I met Him #1 online (perhaps that’s obvious) and I liked him off the bat. He was very communicative over text and I was having a good time texting him.   Due to the timing of when he initiated contact, we texted for a week before our first date.  It was a fun week!  He seemed like a genuinely nice guy!  He had interests that were new to me, but he was so passionate about them and I found it very intriguing!  I like to learn new things and I liked how he had a full-filling life.  I thought we were looking for the same thing.

On our first date, I had somewhat limited expectations that he would be a real person, but I was excited–you can always fill in the blanks with assumptions before you meet someone.  To my surprise, he was real and much cuter than his pictures online!  We talked for a few hours over lunch.  Towards the end, all I wanted to do was kiss him.  He took me home and we had an epic first kiss at my doorstep.  We’re talking, light hair pull, pushing me against the side of the house, romance novel epic.  I don’t know how I resisted inviting him up–actually my house was a mess and I hadn’t shaved my legs.  That’s how.   He texted immediately when he got home to tell me that he had had a great time–we had set up a date for Friday before he left my house and we were both excitedly talking about it.

It seemed to go well from there, until it didn’t.

Continue reading Searching for Man TBD: Part One →