Last Saturday, I broke a rule with somewhat hilarious consequences. A few weeks ago, I also ignored some initial warning signs with some troubling results. (Troubling in the sense that I don’t understand humanity).
A guy sent me a message through the dating website. It was a series of impersonal questions–I have a rule about impersonal messages from menfolk–to always ignore. Why? These men are likely sending the same message in bulk to many women without any thought… Hopefully, I don’t have to explain why that person who doesn’t interest me.
Anyways, one of his questions was “What is your pet peeve?” To which I responded (mostly in annoyance), “Impersonal messages from strangers on the Internet.” He laughed it off and I thought maybe he was an exception to my rule (You may be sensing a theme with that thought…. ).
He kept telling stories about accidentally being naked. They were odd and I kept trying to change the subject. I thought, well, maybe this guy is just strange and awkward and doesn’t know how to talk to women. After all, the stories weren’t sexual in nature, they were just about times when he had been caught naked. He claimed to be a teacher so he must be a somewhat ok person, right?
I’m going to admit two things. First, I occasionally take detours from the search parameters for Man TBD and try something (someone?) new. I also am not good at dating (Shocker!). I have therefore adopted this video as the summary of my dating strategy and success:
I have some successes, but I haven’t found a way to make it truly satisfying. But I’m not drowning and I’m not going thirsty. (That is deep.)
Anyways, this weekend, I took a detour with, IMO, hilarious consequences. Saturday night, I broke a rule and decided to go grab a drink with this guy who first started messaging me Saturday afternoon. He didn’t seem creepy and I my only plan was to play with my new iPad, so I decided why not! But why the rule? Well, if a guy wants to see you that quickly, he usually has an agenda and by accepting, you show some desperation. But, I thought rules be damned! I shall test the rule and see what happens!
We all have different goals in life. Many of us have several and several of mine come to mind: I would like to find a way to have a career that I love that allows a bit more balance in life, I’d like to re-learn how to play the piano, and I’d like to find “Man TBD.” Man TBD is your vacation buddy, the guy that is your plus-one, the guy you snuggle with when you’re cold, the guy that has his own life and goals and wants you as a true partner, the guy that reminds you that even though the partner yelled at you unfairly, he’s an ass and you’re a good attorney! I could go on, but I’m beginning to swoon and I digress.
Every once in a blue moon, I get butterflies in my stomach that I might have found Man TBD! This happened to me recently and it took me by surprise to be honest. I fell fast and hard for this funny, warm, somewhat shy, and attractive man who messaged me online. He seemed so into me and I reciprocated. I was legitimately excited to get his texts. My friends knew he was texting me because I got this big grin on my face. It had actually been a long time since I had taken dating seriously and I even longer since I’d been excited. [More on reasons why in future posts, I’m sure.] For the purposes of this blog, let’s call him: Him #1.
I met Him #1 online (perhaps that’s obvious) and I liked him off the bat. He was very communicative over text and I was having a good time texting him. Due to the timing of when he initiated contact, we texted for a week before our first date. It was a fun week! He seemed like a genuinely nice guy! He had interests that were new to me, but he was so passionate about them and I found it very intriguing! I like to learn new things and I liked how he had a full-filling life. I thought we were looking for the same thing.
On our first date, I had somewhat limited expectations that he would be a real person, but I was excited–you can always fill in the blanks with assumptions before you meet someone. To my surprise, he was real and much cuter than his pictures online! We talked for a few hours over lunch. Towards the end, all I wanted to do was kiss him. He took me home and we had an epic first kiss at my doorstep. We’re talking, light hair pull, pushing me against the side of the house, romance novel epic. I don’t know how I resisted inviting him up–actually my house was a mess and I hadn’t shaved my legs. That’s how. He texted immediately when he got home to tell me that he had had a great time–we had set up a date for Friday before he left my house and we were both excitedly talking about it.
I have two cats. I love them. Like a lot. I got them both as adults also I don’t know their actual birthdays. Instead I celebrate the day I got them. My first, I got on September 10 and the second, I got a year ago today!